I always thought it looked cool, as I watched my slightly older friends as they took drags off the cigarettes they were smoking. Granted, I was only 16 at the time, but you're pretty impressionable when you're so young. The want, and arguably need, to look cool and be socially accepted at this stage in a person's life is important for most people. You're probably in high school, somewhere between a freshman and a sophomore, so you're pretty low on the social ladder of things and one of the quickest ways to be and look cool and thus, accepted, is to do what the bigger kids were doing and one of them was smoking.
That was many, MANY moons ago. Through my years, what initially started as a way to become accepted, turned into a form of stress reliever at one phase, and then just turned into a habit. Long were the days where I would think, "time to look cool," as I lit up a cigarette. Now there is no thought. Wake up in the morning? Smoke. Drive to work or waiting for a bus? Smoke. A couple of hours of work done? Smoke. Get more hours of work done? Smoke and go home. Of course there are the instances where friends invite you for a smoke and you say "yeah sure ok," not even considering that you just had a smoke no longer than 30 seconds ago. It's a bad habit and I've done it for so long that just recently I decided to quit.
It's been nearly a week and I've been doing..."ok" for someone that has been smoking for roughly half his life. It's really a difficult task to take on and quite a challenge for lack of a better word. On the first day I decided to quit, I went to the drug store to buy "the patch" to help me along my road to a smoke free life and let me tell you, the first time I tried the patch, not long after application I began to feel lightheaded and nearly passed out so I discarded that thing like a bad habit (see what I did there?). Maybe I got the wrong dosage but I started to panic because what I felt did not feel right at all. Then I bought the gum and for the most part it has helped me a bit. I don't get lightheaded much and the gum tastes like crap once the nicotine starts to kick in, but I haven't smoked. Having said that, as I type this out, I REALLY want a cigarette but I can't. I made a promise to someone.
This isn't the first time I've tried to quit smoking. The very first time I tried to quit smoking was soon after I started smoking in high school. That lasted for a good month. Then there are the frequent attempts that would last about a week at best and a few days at worst. What's funny, as I type this out, knowing that smoking is bad for you, is when me and my friends were young, I remember a conversation regarding what it would take for us to quit or under what circumstances would we even consider quitting. If I remember correctly some of the answers were if a loved one were dying of cancer and asked them to quit or a boyfriend or girlfriend were to ask (but only if they were "worth it"), and some were like "never" and I suppose they're all valid answers. Even the "never" is a valid answer. Not one of the answers I remember were if the person were dying. Who wants to think about that? or "because of my health". We were all young and dumb so what did we know?
I'm old school. I like to think I am a man of my word and keeping my word is important to me because my word, to you, should hold a lot of weight...that it can be trusted. I do this for a promise I made to someone which is more important than my health. Hell, I've been doing something on a regular basis that has been killing me for half of my life. That should tell you how I regard my own well being. But if I make someone a promise to do something, I will keep that promise. The benefits to my health are just extra points to me.
So nearly a week in and I'm still smoke free. Thanks in large part to my anti-smoking gum and to a promise I made to someone I care a great deal about. Still, the fleeting thoughts of going outside and having a smoke do come every once in a while but they do go as well...
That was many, MANY moons ago. Through my years, what initially started as a way to become accepted, turned into a form of stress reliever at one phase, and then just turned into a habit. Long were the days where I would think, "time to look cool," as I lit up a cigarette. Now there is no thought. Wake up in the morning? Smoke. Drive to work or waiting for a bus? Smoke. A couple of hours of work done? Smoke. Get more hours of work done? Smoke and go home. Of course there are the instances where friends invite you for a smoke and you say "yeah sure ok," not even considering that you just had a smoke no longer than 30 seconds ago. It's a bad habit and I've done it for so long that just recently I decided to quit.
It's been nearly a week and I've been doing..."ok" for someone that has been smoking for roughly half his life. It's really a difficult task to take on and quite a challenge for lack of a better word. On the first day I decided to quit, I went to the drug store to buy "the patch" to help me along my road to a smoke free life and let me tell you, the first time I tried the patch, not long after application I began to feel lightheaded and nearly passed out so I discarded that thing like a bad habit (see what I did there?). Maybe I got the wrong dosage but I started to panic because what I felt did not feel right at all. Then I bought the gum and for the most part it has helped me a bit. I don't get lightheaded much and the gum tastes like crap once the nicotine starts to kick in, but I haven't smoked. Having said that, as I type this out, I REALLY want a cigarette but I can't. I made a promise to someone.
This isn't the first time I've tried to quit smoking. The very first time I tried to quit smoking was soon after I started smoking in high school. That lasted for a good month. Then there are the frequent attempts that would last about a week at best and a few days at worst. What's funny, as I type this out, knowing that smoking is bad for you, is when me and my friends were young, I remember a conversation regarding what it would take for us to quit or under what circumstances would we even consider quitting. If I remember correctly some of the answers were if a loved one were dying of cancer and asked them to quit or a boyfriend or girlfriend were to ask (but only if they were "worth it"), and some were like "never" and I suppose they're all valid answers. Even the "never" is a valid answer. Not one of the answers I remember were if the person were dying. Who wants to think about that? or "because of my health". We were all young and dumb so what did we know?
I'm old school. I like to think I am a man of my word and keeping my word is important to me because my word, to you, should hold a lot of weight...that it can be trusted. I do this for a promise I made to someone which is more important than my health. Hell, I've been doing something on a regular basis that has been killing me for half of my life. That should tell you how I regard my own well being. But if I make someone a promise to do something, I will keep that promise. The benefits to my health are just extra points to me.
So nearly a week in and I'm still smoke free. Thanks in large part to my anti-smoking gum and to a promise I made to someone I care a great deal about. Still, the fleeting thoughts of going outside and having a smoke do come every once in a while but they do go as well...