Baby We'll Be Fine

I've come back from a really great trip this past weekend with a group of friends. We went camping up in the high sierras at this BEAUTIFUL site next to a reservoir. One of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.

Needless to say, my time spent there was relaxing and I was able to lose myself which I expected was going to happen, but I didn't expect to reflect on anything at all. I did some good amount of thinking while I was out there. It blindsided me. I just needed to get away. Wasn't looking for anything other than that.

In my moments of self reflection, I've come to the realization that I'm coming to another crossroad in my life and to be honest, I'm a bit uneasy about it. Some pretty tough decisions are going to have to be made in the next couple of months. Those decisions will come at a hefty price however. Some will give me peace of mind at the cost of disappointing people, which I try my best not to and I hate doing so, while others will be the reverse.

I would've liked more time up there. Each night spent underneath the stars gave me clarity. I'm back in the city and the night sky that was my serenity is no longer there and a cloud of uncertainty remains.

Whatever it is that I decide on, when I've come to that point, my optimism says it'll be for the best. The bit of pessimism says "hopefully..."

Art Walk Adventures

A photo series of outings during the Downtown Los Angeles Art Walks

A shoulder is always a great place to lay your head on

Street fashion. I dug his shoes

Side lit portrait of Genna Gold during the golden hour

Bane dog was ready to attack me while the owner was busy on his cell phone

Orpheum theater lit by the golden hour

On the other side of the lens

Portrait of Lynn Levitt

I stalk my subjects when I go in for the shot

Live street art

Hare Krishna thumbs up

Inside of The Last Bookstore

Carpinteria Camping

A couple of months ago (I believe...), I tagged along with a couple of friends to celebrate a couple of birthdays by way of camping in the beach town of Carpinteria, California. I was going through a pretty rough and stressful patch with the journalism work I was doing so this small vacation, getting out of Dodge so to speak, was a great release to me. You know, this past semester, all I did was shoot videos for my story assignments and didn't snap a single photo which is weird because I'm a photographer. It should be the other way around right? It wasn't until I got out of the newsroom to which I started shooting photos again. Ebb and flow? Whatever it's called, it was nice to pick up the camera again and capture life one frame at a time.

Some sort of BMW

The very first morning of this trip, I decided to walk around town and see what's around the vicinity of the camp site. I must've woken up at 6am. Quite early per my usual life routine. I happened upon this cool looking BMW parked in a lot of some cafe. It's not everyday you get to see cool shit like this. The front portion of the vehicle is actually the door. It opens up and out and the driver and passenger get in. Then you're off on your cute and merry little way. I want one.

Restoration of an old house with that classic white picket fence

As I continued on my exploration of town, I came across this cute, little, white picket fenced house being restored by some workers. I'm a fan of iconic American style or "Americana" for lack of a better word. There were a lot of old houses in and around the Carpinteria area. Some of them Victorian in style and grandeur but I'm a rather simple man and this house suits my style.

What's a beach town without a surf shop?

I'm not a surfer by any means but I like classic surf culture and what drew me initially to this store was the bamboo framed sign and the all wood long board attached to the front of the store. The light was fairly harsh on this morning but I really dug the way the palm tree casted its shadow upon the store front which gives this image a bit of texture.

Breakfast around the campfire pit

When at a beach, some beach laying will be done

After I walked around what I could of the area, I headed back to the campsite only to find it devoid of campers. Naturally I walked over to the beach and found them all there laying in the sun and getting their tan on. Carpinteria is really a beautiful beach. The sunrises and sunsets I saw while I was there was breathtaking. I wouldn't mind going back there, or going to another beach, possibly more up north, and do some camping over there so I may see how the light breaks off the water during sunrise and sunset.

I totally forgot what this dog's name was but he was one of the coolest dogs I've met. I sat around with him and another dog while everyone else was still at the beach sun bathing.

I merely wanted a simple sunset photo but I'll gladly take a photograph of a father trying to get a sunset photo of his "hard to keep still" son on the beach.

On the last night of camping, I had to get that nice sunset shot on the beach. It's cliche but whatevers. I wanted it. I wanted a photograph of all the people I was camping with, watching the sunset together and for the most part it was a success. I love the photograph. It was a poignant, visual way to cap off and describe how relaxing the trip was.

Friends gathered around the beach to watch the sunset

Money

We're now into summer and I can't wait for the next excursions that'll take me to some place new and exciting. There are a couple of trips planned that I can't wait to go on. Getting away has always been a great form of release for me. Can't wait to capture all the new places and experiences in the weeks to come...

Series: Inside The Newsroom

Editor-In-Chief of The Roundup News, Tracy Wright, stocks up the kiosks with the latest edition of the newspaper during delivery day. Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Managing Editor Genna Gold, takes a breather inside the rear seating area of the news van during delivery day. Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Program Director of KPCRadio Nick McNamara, poses for a photo inside the newsroom of The Roundup. Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Left-right: Advisor to The Roundup Jeff Favre, along with editors Tracy Wright, Raymond Garcia, and Jessica Boyer, await the start of Ed Board inside the newsroom. Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Calm Before The Storm: Reporters and editors gather inside the newsroom just before the start of "Hell Sheet," in which the advisors to the publication critique the latest print issue of the newspaper. Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Online Editor Raymond Garcia poses beside The Roundup News sign in front of the newsroom before the start of "Hell Sheet". Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Impulsive

My last entry kind of bothered me. I went to sleep shortly after posting it but when I woke up later that morning, I was annoyed. I went out on what was a pretty beautiful Memorial Day with the intent to photograph stuff on film but I ended up at Samy's Camera in Los Angeles and whenever I'm in a camera store, become that proverbial kid in that candy store.

Normally I'm bad inside camera stores, specifically when I'm there to restock on some film. Every time I enter Samy's in the Miracle Mile area, I always have that need to first go up the top floor where they have all their medium format cameras, proceed to the second floor and check out all the other digital cameras and gear they have and then find my way to the bottom showroom floor where I end up buying a shit load of film I don't really need but I want. This time around, I was pretty good...somewhat. I didn't buy any 35mm or medium format film. I ended up buying something I've always wanted but never got around to buying which was a Fuji Instax 210 Wide Format instant film camera!

Selfie!

I've owned various types of instant film cameras in my life such as Polaroid 600, SX-70 and other Land cameras but Polaroid has long stopped producing film and the only way to use those cameras is if you use Impossible Project's Polaroid film which are fine films, don't get me wrong, but I find it hard pressed to pay $25 some odd dollars for a pack of 10 photos? Could be 8. Which ever way, that's a lot of coin for a few shots. These days, the Fuji Instax instant film format is what's hot. You can find Instax format cameras and at many camera stores to the hipster of hipster stores, Urban Outfitters so there's little fear to be had of Fuji discontinuing the format anytime soon. The format comes in two versions. A mini version which the photographs come to about the size of a credit card, and the wide format which is substantially larger. I chose to go with the wide format and you can see what they look like by the photos I provide.

No Photos! George doesn't like having his picture taken but I think he's just being coy.

After buying the camera and a twin pack of film, I proceeded to use the first pack as a test pack so I went to the restaurant that I part time to keep me sane from all this journalism, photography and multi-media stuff and proceeded to test it out. One of the problems I faced starting out was compensating for the issue of parallax. On an SLR (or DSLR), you don't suffer from the parallax issue because with SLRs, what you see is what you get. That is, whatever you see in your viewfinder, is how your photo is framed. On non-SLRs, you have to think about parallax. What you see through your viewfinder, even though your subject may be centered, will not be centered in your frame (depending on how close/far your are relative to the subject). My first two photos were off and framed incorrectly as well as being blurry. I tossed those two and had to adjust the rest of my photos for parallax.

Damn you parallax! Originally I had Cesar centered in the viewfinder but not adjusting for parallax had him left of center.

I can't remember the last time I had fun shooting. Well, actually I do. It was a couple of weeks ago at the beach but that's besides the point. Shooting instant film again, though I've had experience with it, was something new to me, again. Does that make any sense? It's like meeting with a dear friend that you haven't seen in a long time. The fun is all in catching up. One thing I will say about the many different instant films I've shot, and while they're all good and have their own characteristics, I've always loved the creamy, velvety colors of Fuji film. If I would rank the different types of instant film I've shot, Fuji and Polaroid SX-70 film would be the top of the list. I'm very pleased at the color tone of Fuji's Instax film. I'm a sucker for cream and I've always gone with Fuji films if I wanted to get that look.

Seriously! NO PHOTOS! Juan looks like he's 14 but I think he's in his early 70s.

Operating the camera is really easy. Everything is pretty much automatic. Your grandparents will be able to use it, it's that simple. There are two focus settings. With a press of a button, you can switch from .9m-3m to 3m-infinity (sorry, I don't know the hot keys for the infinity sign). There's also a button to switch the flash on and off for fill but I believe the flash will automatically fire in low light situations as the camera did on me even though I didn't have the flash activated. There is a light sensor somewhere on the camera where if I block it, I believe one can neutralize the auto flash, but I have yet to find it. Neutralizing the auto flash would help one in doing long exposure photos. I'll eventually mess around with that at some point, just not at this time. The camera also comes equipped with an adapter for "macro" or very close up photos but I find it to be shitty. However, that being said, that same adapter has a mirror on it for something many people these days love to photograph. Themselves. I suppose that's a good thing #butfirstletmetakeaselfie

My little sister.

I really enjoyed shooting with this camera and I find myself using this camera more often than I should. Digital photos are great but I love film. Both digital, and instant film formats are the same in the sense that both have that instant gratification quality to them. However, as instant gratification as digital is, instant film is instant gratification with character. Sure, digital and instant film are, well, instant. But with instant film, your photos are ready in a matter of seconds while with a digital camera, you have to either go home or to a store, dump the media from your memory card, and wait however long it takes to get your photos printed. Plus there's the "cool" factor with instant film. No one really shoots it compared to digital so you'll always have people circle around you whenever you snap a photo and watching with some awe at a photo being developed right before your eyes.

Never hand your camera to someone that has never operated a camera before or else you're likely to get something as dark as this.

If you're in the market for an instant camera, I highly recommend the Instax format. They're less expensive than Impossible Project's Polaroid format. Fuji tends to sell twin packs of instant film and with the wide format, I ended up purchasing one for $25 and each pack is a pack of 10 photos. Each photo would end up costing you roughly $1 and some change which isn't bad. Impossible Project's film is about the same price and you get 8-10 photos (I'm not sure) so each photo will cost you almost $2. Fuji's Instax mini format, because it's smaller than the wide format, will be a little cheaper. In the end, whatever floats your boat. Each format is great and I'll be shooting with Impossible Film as soon as I find a great deal on an unused, still fully functional, Polaroid camera.

Happy shooting! Because you know I'll be.

Start Again

These past couple of nights I was unable to sleep. Maybe it's due to the semester coming to an end. Anxiety. Restlessness. Call it what you will. In my many attempts to try and go to sleep, I found that tiring myself was one of the best ways to put me under.

One way I did that was by looking at all my photos. On my hard drive, this blog and Facebook. Hell, I totally forgot I had a Flickr account! It's really bittersweet whenever I look at my photos these days because I used to shoot a lot. I take a look at the past couple of months and I can only come up with a handful of photos. It's sad and I hate that I've allowed myself to reduce my photography to practically nothing. There is the video thing that I'm into now as I'm getting better at it every day but I need to find that right balance with what I'm growing to love, and what I loved before.

When the semester ends I'll pick up my camera again. Maybe disappear for awhile and start where I left off doing something that gave me solace...made me happy. Then probably I can add more visual content here than early morning ramblings.

Of Obituaries

It's not often that one gets to write an obituary. I had to write one recently. Not a real obituary in the sense that someone died mind you. I had to write an obituary for my Journalism 101 class on a classmate. I have a playful side and that side of me couldn't help but throw in a couple of good zingers and as much as I would've liked to go full on satire with this obituary a la those roasts we've come to know, I had to be somewhat serious with this. My grade depended on it.

As I was writing out this obit for a person I had just met, I started to think about my very own obituary. Not the one that the person is writing on me for this assignment. For the record, I told her to use her imagination and take me out in the weirdest and funniest way. She laughed at the thought but then pressed me for a serious answer as to how I'd like to die so I told her take me out as I was covering a news story (I hope she picked an active shooter on campus because that's one way to go out as a photojournalist covering a breaking news story). The real obituary, for when I do actually go out, was on my mind.

I entertained the thought of who would actually write it out? I'm not famous so it's not like some reporter has a pre-made obituary waiting for me when I die. Oh yeah, pre-made obituaries for famous people are a reality. You know, because breaking news. So someone would have to actually pay whatever newspaper "x" amount of money like an advertisement for the obituary to go to print, and then actually write it. What would that person say about me and how I lived my life? Also, which kind person in my circle of friends and family would go out and do this?

Normally I don't think about this stuff. It has occurred to me a couple of times but this assignment in particular brought upon these thoughts. I find it fascinating on many different levels.

As for what type of death I chose for my fellow Journalism 101 classmate? I killed her off in a caffeine overdose trying to write out my obituary.

***Updated in italics to convey context to a fictional scenario. Not to condone, glorify or convey a sense of disrespect with regards to such a situation. It's a tough subject to talk about considering such situations have happened but at the same time, being a photojournalist working with a school's publication, it is a scenario in which someone could die in a fictional scenario with some regard to reality***

Light A Fire

This past weekend, I, along with my fellow Roundup News colleagues, attended the JACC Spring 2014 State Conference in Burbank, California. The JACC holds a conference three times I year I believe. In the fall, there is the regional conference, where the news media of various community colleges meet somewhere within their respective regions, gather to compete, network, and attend workshops in order to gain a better knowledge of the field of journalism. During the spring, there is the state conference where all of the community colleges meet. The locations switch every year and this time around, it happened locally.

We always come into these conferences with high confidence. During the regional conference in the fall of last year, the Roundup News, the Bull Magazine, and its respective photographers and reporters, won many awards. During the awards ceremony, our name was called out in almost every category with either a top placing, or an honorable mention. It wasn't much different coming into the state conference as we felt our publications were good enough for a repeat performance. Sadly, it wasn't the case this time around.

Before I go on, congratulations to all the schools and student journalists that won an award at the state conference. It was well deserved. Having said that, I was really annoyed during the awards ceremony. Hearing every other school being called for an award bothered me. I like winning and I'm a very competitive person with great pride in my school's publications and in my colleagues. Every time our name wasn't called during the "mail-in" portion of the ceremony, one reoccurring thought went through my head. "Were we that bad?"

I received 3rd place for News Photo and I feel great that my photo won out against who knows how many hundred photos were entered in that category but initially I was disappointed. 3rd?! Really? I remember taking that photo, which was a photograph of a standoff between Pierce College and West Los Angeles College football players occurred at the football stadium when the away team had all their stuff stolen from the locker room and were angry. Sheriff deputies from Pierce College and Valley College (I believe) as well as LAPD arrived on scene and had to break it up before it escalated into a full blown riot which at the time, was nearing that point. When I took that photo I "knew" it was going to win at least second. It was a great photo and I was proud of it. Still am. How many times does an event like that happen at other colleges?

As the awards went on during the News Photo category, they showed the winning photo, which was taken by a Long Beach City College photographer, of a similar altercation during a football game and a punch was thrown. So actually a fight documented. I saw it and I thought "Wow. That's an awesome photo." Then I wondered what the 2nd place photo was and what made it better than mine? They never showed it.

After the conference was over, I, still bitter and disappointed, spoke with a colleague who was just as bitter and disappointed as I was, about the conference and our outing and we concluded that as good as we were back in the fall of last year, we rested on our laurels which affected our work. Don't get me wrong, we worked and still continue to work hard to make our newspaper the great publication that it is. Just not hard enough. At least, that's what I thought when we both talked about it.

When I woke up yesterday, I was still bothered as to why we didn't win that many awards during the state conference and continued to ponder the results. As I type this entry out, I just feel like we've lost our sight. Winning isn't everything. It's not the end all be all of journalism. What journalism is, is getting the news right and reporting as such. Speaking personally, these days I'm not as happy as I was before when I entered the newsroom because I was so focused on winning awards (as well as other factors but I won't talk about that but it does play a part in me wanting to win) that it stressed me out so much that I don't "smile like I used to," as another colleague of mine told me during the conference. And it's true. I don't. I'm not happy much these days and it sucks. It sucks that I know it, and it sucks that others recognize it and I hate that because I'm normally quite happy.

It dawned on me, as I recall the other school's being called out for awards, resulting in loud, boisterous cheers, that it was an amateur show. It's all been an amateur show. I don't think the professional publications out there cheered as hard for their award wins. It's great to win an award for your hard work but those that didn't win worked just as hard. Going about business in order to win is the wrong way to go about approaching journalism.

I don't care much about winning anymore. I want to get back to my old happy self again. Which is why I'm going to perform like I did when I first started this venture into journalism. Reporting the news right, and on time. My best work came about doing it this way AND it was fun. Should my work result in awards, great. It's a rather humbling experience to acknowledge where and how I went wrong. I'm glad that I was able to recognize it at all now rather than risk fully burning and falling out of what I loved about journalism. Here's to the new, old me. The future is looking a little more bright now.

A Study In Movement

I spent the day in Venice Beach today with a couple of friends, one of which was trying to learn to photograph. Every time I go to Venice Beach, I always end up at the drum circle and I spend a great deal of time enjoying the great drumming. As always, I had my camera with me and this woman caught my eye. It was as if she was in another world, in some sort of ecstasy. I watched her dance for a good 5 minutes before I began documenting her trance like state. For all she cared, no one and nothing else mattered. It was just her, and the rhythm.